Do vagina's smell?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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