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He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
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