i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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