ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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