You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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