Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize