hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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