I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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