I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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