I wanna bring you to show and tell
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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