a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize