Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
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