Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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