I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
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