I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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