The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I could fuck to npr.
You've changed since you got that strap on
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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