I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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