Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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