I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
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4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
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Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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