that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
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I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
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I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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