i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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