He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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