I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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