theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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