Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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