I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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