The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize