You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dignity is for republicans.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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