u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Randomize