I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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