we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
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I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
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I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
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