just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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