Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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