After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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