Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
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He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
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I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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