me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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