I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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