Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
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No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
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Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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