weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
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If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
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So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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