I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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