he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My dick has a subreddit
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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