Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
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When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
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My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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