he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize