Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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