i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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