my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
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She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
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If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
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