did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a burrito and a hug.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize