At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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