the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Dignity is for republicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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