He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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